"... the Heart of Me"

It is here I wish to call to mind the handicap of our humanity.

I often think of this speech made by Aragorn from the third Lord of the Rings movie when the soldiers behind him are about to flee at the sight of the innumerable enemy. He says, ‘Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan! My brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! The day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down. But it is not this day! This day, we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, men of the West!’ Such words to gild failing hearts. However, the words in that speech that had been resounding in my mind from before I set fingers to keyboard were ‘the heart of me.’ What shall I say of ‘the heart of me’?

It is a perennial discourse in our hallowed places, what in fact caused the mother of all to choose the fruit of that tree over the commands of her Creator. Was it when she ate of the fruit that she fell or before? Was it a tree she had ever been wondered by even before the ancient wisdom bid her look? Was she truly pure if she was so easily swayed? Well, I think the text is worth examining here.

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, and he ate.

I have never fancied the use of the words, spirit, soul and body, in describing the state of man because it so easily divides man into separate components often causing us to miss the point the Jewish and subsequently Christian scriptures make about the human condition, which is the unity of the inner and the outer man being the original design of the Creator. The fact that the inner and outer man are separated at death is the great cause of the fall. That is what precisely happened when she ate of the tree, she became ashamed of her nakedness, her body; the consciousness of her flesh suddenly felt other, separate from her perfect consciousness, meaning her consciousness had in fact fallen imperfect. If her body was separate from the consciousness of God, it means that her mind had also undergone a similar schism. All that it was left to from that point was entropy, putrid decay. So, then the decay of the body was only the mirror of the decay of the mind. If the mind was dead, the body was to be also as the soul, the inner man was no longer living. But how could she have made such an error? By what she heard and what she saw and she tasted. By the body. It is not to be glossed over the fact that food was what caused the fall. There is an inextricable link between the body, the flesh of man and his capacity to make eternal decisions, because the body and mind (soul) within are inextricably intertwined. They were perfectly intertwined in the beginning, so that they were not ashamed though naked, and not so much afterwards which is why we can age and die and have our bodies fall to the ground while our souls ascend for judgement and yet linked so our bodies had only mirrored the state of our heart which is already dead as a stone, being children of Adam.

This is where I now get to the matter of the heart. This same heart that Eve had in fullest, liveliest form had the one ability that made it possible for her to sin: the ability to desire. However, there was a word, a powerful nudging fueled the most ancient of darkness that was needed to will that desire towards evil, a word to gild the fleshly heart with the gold of Mammon.

For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.

And the desire, the lust was awakened, the fruit grew beautiful till it was irresistible, a delight and useful to make her wise and the enemy knew then, his work was accomplished. She only needed be won over by the ethereal taste so much so that she could not deny her husband of it. And then the head of all things would fall into shame, contempt and death. So then we see that the heart of man, as pure as it can be only needs a word from wisdom to awaken its latent desire unto sin. And ever since then, every word of wisdom from sin was ever heeded by man’s descendants so that sin, a mere housecat scratching at Cain’s door, soon grew into the eternal dragon that has consumed all of humanity, infecting us with sin to the DNA. And the age of men fell deeper and deeper as death, the first tyrant, seized upon his heart, eating up his years in devilish, deadly depravity, so that Jeremiah said in his abject sadness, ‘The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can understand it?’ That same heart which Eve’s eyes so peacefully followed to the first disobedience, now ruled over her children like a king over his kingdom.

I like to think of the heart as the core of our consciousness. Being infected by sin from the birth of a child, it cannot but accomplish its destiny when the fulness of age and consciousness is reached: death. No fledgling youth lacks a story of when he committed that first memorable depravity that showed him how evil his heart was unto death. None. And it all began from his heart of sin. If he is blessed enough, he is pierced sore by the thorn, if not, he forges on in his newfound path of destruction. One of those blessed ones was the man, David. It is known that he was the only man in the old covenant who had in him the gift of the Holy Spirit. It is why he is the only saint of the Old Testament after whom Christian churches are named. And yet we see that his ways were littered with acts of evil when the desires of his heart nudged him to sin. He dealt death upon others even as sin dealt death upon him. But upon the word from the Lord through the prophet, his own heart was pierced of its sin. We will examine the words he utters in golden repentance but first let us note here that nothing happens to the end of desire in the heart of man unless there is first a word to will it. A word from God willed creation to existence. A word from the enemy willed it to its fall. A word from the prophet willed the good king to repentance. Such words to gild failing hearts. I enjoin you to take heed of the words that come to you with utmost care, to guard your heart diligently with the eternal words. For desire when awakened is a very slippery slope.